Welcome to "Wild Kingdom."  I'm Jack Hannah.  Today we observe the Mobian hedgehog.  It's well-known that hedgehogs curl themselves up into a ball to discourage attackers.  This behavior is also useful when throwing tantrums, as Sonic appears to be doing when a decision by the Freedom Fighters meeting in session doesn't go his way.  Sonic has just proposed that he allow himself to be roboticized with a neuro-override to counteract the effect on his mind so he can trash Robotnik.  Freddy Mendez's editorial box doesn't exactly say "Been there, done that," but does serve to remind us of the plot of "Steel-Belted Sally" [#29].  Rotor's objections are seconded by Bunnie, who literally puts her foot down.  And when a partially roboticized rabbit puts her foot down you can read it on the Richter scale.  Realizing he's got about as much chance of his plan being accepted as Pat Buchanan has of being the Republican candidate for President, Sonic storms out of the meeting.  Anyone else notice the piece of paper with the words "is a dweeb" attached to Antoine's nameplate?  We may have some dissention in the ranks, but Antoine's offhanded questioning of Sonic's loyalty draws a sharp rebuke from Sally.
     To work off his frustration, Sonic heads for a "new training facility" in the Great Forest, conveniently located next door to the "Knothole Jail".  Make that SERIOUS dissention; the existence of such a structure not only has never been hinted at before, but seems kinda incongruous when we're talking about FREEDOM Fighters.  Anyway, Sonic no sooner walks in the door than he goes through the quick cooldown routine: Nack the Weasel drops a barbell on Sonic's head and the blue dude does that stars in the eyes thing.  Why didn't Nack use an Acme(tm) anvil and make it official while he was at it?  Picking up the plot of the Triple Trouble issue where he left off, he ties up Sonic for delivery to Robotnik.
     Upon arriving at Robotnik's, Nack informes the big guy that he won't turn Sonic over until he's been paid.  He also asks for a company car, his own dressing room and $100,000 per episode.  Robotnik's counteroffer is that Nack gets to leave Robotropolis alive, and he brings in a giant Crabmeat bot as a dealmaker.  Nack sees the fairness in this arrangement and goes off to represent the cast members of "Friends" in contract negotiations.  Without further ado, Sonic is transformed into Mecha-Sonic.  His assignment: level Knothole.
     OK, now we get to the good part.  Mecha-Sonic's initial attack is blunted when he's confronted with multiple holographic images of the Freedom Fighters to shoot at.  And who should arrive on the scene but a seriously-upgraded Bunnie as this starts looking more like a Mortal Kombat plotline.  Bunnie's upgrades appear to include the ability to fly and a dictionary of Southern cliches.  She advises Mecha-Sonic to "surrender like the Yankees at Chickamauga" but Mecha-Sonic reacts by doing his one-robot impression of Pickett's Charge.  Bunnie telescopes her legs and gets out of the way.  While the bot and the rabbot move on to a re-enactment of the battle between the Monitor and the Merrimac, Sally puts in a call for help, which Tails relays from Knothole in a burst of technobabble.  By the end of the page Sally is speaking in tongues herself.
     And now's a good time to pause and catch our breath.  You may tour the Sonic Art gallery or while away some time scouring the "Find Your Name In Print Page."  Don't forget to visit the gift shop.
     Back to the story.  Robotnik has been monitoring the fight.  Apparently inspired by that lightning rod bit in "The Rise of Robotropolis..." [#38], Robotnik sends a current through Sonic and into Bunnie.  Though dazed and quoting Tennessee Williams, Bunnie tries putting Mecha-Sonic out of action with a "pulse cannon".  Makes me long for the good old days when the Freedom Fighters were going up against SWATbots armed only with slingshots and paint balls ("Sally's Crusade: The Quest", In Your Face #1).  Mecha-Sonic decides to wrap up this Civil War re-enactment by playing Sherman to Bunnie's Atlanta.  She hits the ground in considerably worse shape than Kelli Skrug after her second vault in the Olympics.  Now there seems to be nothing standing between Mecha-Sonic and a soon-to-be flattened Knothole.
     Tails, meanwhile, has been briefing a familiar silhouette: Knuckles.  Propelled into the air by some sort of ejector mechanism, Knuckles may not have any fancy weaponry but he does have a grudge against what used to be Sonic.  The confrontation, however, is predictably one-sided.  With both Bunnie and Knuckles out of commission, Sally orders "Operation Last Resort" -- and I don't think she's talking about retreating to Cancun.
     Now THIS is more like it, campers!  You've got Spaziante's amazing artwork and a linear script by Gallagher that's easy on the quips.  Though some of the lines are unforgivable.  Sally's spouting of babytalk, for instance.  I thought this bit about treating Tails like a kid was wrapped up in "Southern Crossover."  Also, Sally's always struck me as having way too much class for that sort of thing.  The ONLY way I could see it happening would be if Sally got an earful of Tails' speech in the preceeding panel and (with a broad wink) decided to bring him down one shoe size.  In any event, we'll have to wait until the Mecha Madness special to resolve this plot.  And considering that this issue only just hit the local comic stands this past weekend, I have to hope I'll get to see it without ordering it.  Come to think of it, I NEVER DID receive Sonic #38 in the mail!  Archie Comics, better run a Level One diagnostic on your distribution system.
     Sonic-Grams: my initial reaction to Eric Kessler's dedication to Richard Egner: "Gee, who died?"  Probably refers to some intern moving on within the company, though I speak under correction.  Fred pumps the Mecha Madness issue, which will also feature a Forty Fathom Freedom Fighters story and a Chaotix solo shot.  In response to one letter, Tails is credited with attaining an altitude of 1,000 feet, Sonic lists a top speed of Mach 2 as a hedgehog, Warp 1 as a bot, and they get it all wrong when asking if Sonic or Tails is related to Sally--it's Sonic and Tails themselves who relate to each other like sibs.  Brian Edwards asks if Sally will get her own series; while Sonic professes that Sal isn't interested, those of us who have read Ken Pender's posts about reader demographics know better.  Once more, Sonic's speed is attributed to the fact that he was "born that way."
     All in all, the coolness of this issue has been amply justified.  Double-bag this one while waiting for the Mecha Madness special to hit the stands.  I'll be waiting to see IF it hits the stands.  In one place around here there were still issues of #35 for sale when #37 first came out, and to this day another store has an orphan copy of Sonic & Knuckles #1 in its comic rack.  Better make that a Level Two diagnostic!